When family members bully you and you find no one to turn to

 

Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. -- Psalm 69:20

 

But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge. -- Psalm 94:22

 

Years ago, you thought that the fights in your family were normal. Besides, you understood that no family is perfect so you just let things be. But as you aged and now that you’re an adult, you realized such instances weren’t only fights but occurrences when family members bullied you.  

When did the bullying start?

You look back and see that the clashes between you and your older siblings began the times you finally stood up against their wicked ways. Gone are the days you hesitated to identify their ways as wicked because that's what they really are.

 

You witnessed their arrogance, covetousness, incontinence, and fearless acts of lying. You witnessed their disobedience to your parents. You witnessed how they answered back your parents and disrespectfully behaved in their presence. You witnessed the brazen manner they prioritized other people and neglected the family and closest relatives. You experienced how they intentionally slammed doors or other objects at you (or another family member), yelled at you, called you names, humiliated you privately or publicly, ignored you, belittled you, gave you the silent treatment, attacked you, and hurt you physically. At certain times, you also witnessed how your parents and another member of the family, even at the time of poor health, became the recipient of their ill treatment. The sad part is that they see nothing wrong with all these but defend themselves or make excuses for such unacceptable attitude and behavior. 

 

You sought help but found none

You resented them for all their wicked ways and you wanted to fight them. You thought they would stop when you alerted the authorities, but they didn’t. They continued behaving as brats and bullies. So, to find comfort and support, you reached out to people you considered friends or allies. But instead of lending you a listening ear, one person lectured upon you to patch things up with your family. The next person received your message, but your message received no consoling response but silence and evasion. Yet another person blamed you for being the passive recipient of such treatment and accused you of allowing such things to happen. You also turned to a few family members, whom you thought would stand by you and support you, but they're too busy, uninterested, or unconcerned.

You considered seeking clinical treatment; you thought you needed one because of the depth of pain you endure for being the target of repeated family bullying. But since the pandemic, your source of income has been impeded and your funds depleted, so you hold yourself back from spending significant amount of money for getting professional help. But you sense in your heart that you’re restrained. You can identify right from wrong. You fear God and so taking your own life is never going to be your immediate resolve. Most importantly, you believe that God is the Ultimate Healer of all time. Considering all these, you’re convinced you don’t need professional help or clinical intervention after all. 

Still, the stress and trauma from all the bullying you experience in your family all these years just don't go away. You’re deeply hurting and alone. But pause awhile. Take this time to remember the ones who were there for you. They may no longer be around, but they accorded you the clear affirmation that they loved you, cared for you, chose you, stood by you, and believed in you to be the resilient individual you’ve become regardless of the circumstances. But just because they’re gone now doesn’t mean you don’t matter anymore, because you do matter. In their absence, know that the Lord is there for you and He takes care of you (Psalm 27:10).  

God is alive and He listens to your cries

The experience of being bullied by family members is painful enough and to find no one to turn to may compound the pain even more. Remember, you’re not the first one to be in this lonely situation. God sets the solitary in families (Psalm 68:6). He hears you each time you cry and He feels your pain.

The God of the Bible has documented in His Word the believers who went through similar bullying experience in the family. Take Joseph, for instance. His older siblings were jealous of him, primarily because their father favored him highly and so they bullied him to no end. But even if they mistreated him and later sold him to slavery (Genesis 37:27), God stayed by his side, turned his painful situation around, and made him ruler of a foreign land. You may not become a ruler of another place after this painful situation, but know that God will perfect whatever concerns you (Psalm 138:8).

Hold your head up high and trust in God—and in God alone

You can—and you will have to—resist the abusive acts of your narcissistic siblings, especially if you live in the same place with them. If this is so, you might have to observe all of the following practices from this time on: 

Fret not because of evildoers

You still sense the anger you have toward them for all the trouble and pain they've caused not only you but also the family. So you imagine punching them on the face real hard! You're angry! But God's Word commands us to cease from anger and to abstain from doing evil ourselves (Psalm 37:8), so you step back. God's Word speaks to you softly but firmly: "Fret not thyself because of evildoers . . . For they shall soon be cut down like the grass . . . Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass" (Psalm 37:1-5).

 

Keep your distance

This means you will have to set some boundaries. This may mean not joining your siblings at meal times or not cooking the family food anymore. This may also mean you will have to stop talking to the family bullies. Difficult, but doable. Remember, you can’t change the bullies, but you can change the way things go for you—if you stay away from them.  

Buy your own supplies and eat your own food

Sharing things with family bullies can be primary factors contributing to the familiarity that breeds contempt. So diminish such factors to discourage the bullying; purchase your own groceries and other necessities, food included. You have to tell them—verbally or in written form—that you’re separating from the family food and that you’re buying your own supplies. You need not explain why you’re doing this. But in your heart, you refuse to participate in their wicked works and "eat of their dainties" (Psalm 141:4). And they're probably not concerned about checking what’s missing in the pantry or wherever around the house because you used to take care of these things, which, by the way, isn't your obligation. So, now that you've freed yourself from all that, you'll see them move and take on the responsibilities.

Take care of yourself

You’ve taken care of the family all these years. But instead of thanking you, these family members trash your sedulous efforts and bully you as if you deserve to be harshly treated. The psalm of David has become your ultimate cry toward God: “For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer” (Psalm 109:4). So now, instead of using your resources for others, do yourself a favor: spend your resources to take care of yourself. Many people experience financial constraints, especially at this time of the pandemic, and you probably do too. Trust in God. Ask Him to show you ways to earn sufficiently so you can sustain your daily needs and not depend on anyone. 

Don’t rush your recovery process

You've been through years of being bullied by family members and the pain you feel is valid. So don't pressure yourself to get out of it speedily. Don’t hold back those tears; take your time to relieve your heavy heart. Cry out to God. He hears you and He will heal your deep wounds in His time. 

Stay productive

Attend to your paid or unpaid projects that have been put off for so long. Get back to them. Do them. Complete them.

Avoid family gatherings where the bullies are present

Just because it's a family event doesn't mean you have to force yourself to be there. You just can’t blend in the family gathering because the bullies are there. Besides, other family members might not see your painful experience as serious and knowing that fact might just unnecessarily hurt you even more. You're no prisoner. So, opt to go some place else and rejoice in the Lord Jesus.

Stop confiding in people, but in God

From your personal experience, you already know that no one’s willing to give you a shoulder to cry on or lend you a listening ear without you getting scathing remarks or emotional and mental bruises. People you're once close to stay aloof or stand afar off (Psalm 38:11). Perhaps, God has removed these people around you for your own good (Psalm 88:8). So stop seeking affirmation, comfort, or pity from people. And do so without bitterness. Remember, everyone’s different so you may not receive the same soothing relief other people find in their network of people. You don’t need human validation to say you’re OK or otherwise. But choose to ask God for help in times of trouble, for vain is the help of man (Psalm 108:12). 

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. -- Psalm 27:14

 

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. -- 2 Timothy 3:1-5

Weak and beggarly elements: Observing days, and months, and times, and years

God's Word says,

"But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage? Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain." (Galatians 4:9-11)

Don’t baby your kids, TRAIN them!

by Al Sabado

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Not once did we hear stories of children who grew up foolish, or with “horns,” because their parents did not give them proper training in their childhood. So how do we train children? Following are just a few tips useful for the young (or young-at-heart) parents with young children. Most of these tips are from the ageless examples of my grandparents, the late Pastora and Blas Sabado, who diligently and painstakingly raised my dad to be the responsible and dignified man that he is.

1. Don’t “baby talk” your kids. Some parents think it’s cute baby talking their kids. Please don’t do that. Kids, who grow up with this type of baby talking from parents, tend to be brats. Talk to kids in a straightforward manner: Let your yes be yes and your no, no (Matthew 5:37). Do what you say and say what you do. This way they respect you for your actions and your words.

2. Train your kids to get up (and go to bed) early—everyday! Getting up daily between 4:00 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. is OK. Be sure you do that too, so they follow you by your example. Yes, do that, even now that they’re still young. Remember it takes practice to build proper life habits and discipline. They learn to prepare for the day, not in a rush but in a timely manner.

3. Assign kids regular household chores. Start teaching them NOW how to do household chores, even with household helpers around. Your helpers aren’t slaves; they’re there to HELP you. So, don’t let your kids grow lazy and get busy with their tablets, laptops, and other tech gadgets unless their assigned tasks are done. Don’t hesitate to give your kids household assignments for fear they won’t do them properly. Patiently teach them the proper way. And, dear parents, please shift your perfectionism to low gear. That will save you from having headaches. If kids don’t get the task correctly the first time, don’t forbid them to perform the same task again. Allow them to learn! Kids will have to start acquiring discipline through practical skills and you’d better teach them that now, or they’ll learn something else, to your dismay!

4. Orient kids not to be fond of watching television. If you don’t have TV at home, good for you! You’ll do yourself a favor. TV watching can be among the most unhelpful, unproductive activities in the household. Unless you’ve trained your family members to focus on what matters most, then TV watching will continue to be a distraction for them.

5. Train your kids to be book readers instead. But avoid the trend to dictate on your reading preferences. Carefully select the books your kids read. Stay away from books that promote occultism. Do a bit of research to know the dangers of occultism and protect your kids against them. And if you haven’t read the Holy Bible, then read it with your kids. I’m serious! Don’t read anything else unless you and your kids have read it. And read it or listen to it constantly. You may download the free audio Bible in mp3 format here and save it in 4GB microSD, which you may play on your cellphone. The King James Version of the Holy Bible is so far the incorruptible translation—best to evade the others, especially The Message, translated by a New Age proponent. If you’re unaware of the dangers of the New Age (Movement), then research on that also.

6. Teach kids to save money and to spend only on essentials. Accustom them to ask before buying anything, “Do I need this item, or do I just want it?” Differentiate to them need from want, and instill in their minds to prioritize the need.

7. Impart to your kids the value of taking care of family members and the household. The idea behind waiting for everyone to settle around the table before anyone eats teaches your kids how to value family members. Develop also in them the concern for their own household. For example, you may tell the older kids to check if the cupboard still has food supplies, or if toiletries and cleansers are used up already, among other household necessities. Then ask them to make a list of items needed in time for grocery shopping. Inform them of the budget so they make sure they limit their list to essentials. Best if you let them do this assignment regularly. That way you teach your kids responsibility while you unload yourself of tasks you can simply delegate to them. Most importantly, remind your kids not to give up on each other but to look after one another, because time will come you won’t be there for them.

8. Coach your kids to practice social graces, without the need to receive “Like” or “Plus” buttons. Some teachers these days give schoolwork, which students will have to post on social media and collect 100 likes for it. That sounds innovative. But what does that teach our kids? That they’ll only do something unless other people like what they’re doing? So if they don’t receive favorable response, then does that mean they’re awful, or that they won’t do anymore something they ought to be doing to the best of their ability? Isn’t it best to teach kids to accomplish tasks out of duty, compassion, and sincerity—with or without people watching?

9. Teach kids to practice courtesy and propriety toward other people. Good manners and right conduct may be excluded from the school curriculum, but not from the household discussion. So teach GMRC at home. Teach your kids to assist people around your home. Teach them to greet the elderly in the neighborhood by saying, “Good morning, Sir (or Ma’am).” Teach them (boys and girls) to offer their seat to the elderly and older women. And to young boys, teach them gentlemanly etiquette when they’re with girls. For instance, (a) when riding a public transport, the lady gets in the vehicle first before the young man does, to make sure the lady gets in the vehicle safely; (b) when alighting a public transport, the young man gets off the vehicle first before the lady does, to make sure the lady gets assistance when necessary; and (c) when walking or crossing the street with a lady, the young man takes the outer or danger side of the road while the lady walks on the safe side.

10. Encourage your kids to share with you their story and don’t scold them for it. Some parents easily get annoyed when their kids begin talking to them or telling them stories. Be patient. Be sure to make time to listen to your kids. Yes, put down that laptop and stop doing your office work at home (unless you do work from home)! You don’t only bond with them during such time, you also encourage them to trust YOU with their secrets before they do other people. So if they begin telling you about their crushes in school, for instance, don’t panic! Hold your peace. You can use the time to be an opportunity, where you begin guiding your kids to make proper choices in life.

11. You may beat your kids, but don’t kill them! The Holy Bible says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die” (Proverbs 23:13). But some parents nearly kill their children when they give them beatings. Please don’t do that! Don’t even make the mistake of scolding your kids in public places or in front of people, because doing that can painfully embarrass them unnecessarily. Deal with your kids in the privacy of your home, with moderation and kindness.

12. Affirm your love to them no matter what happens. Be sure you have affirmed your love to your children, especially after you scold them. This way they understand you scold them for their faults, but that you love them regardless of the error committed. Now, if, for instance, you notice your son starts behaving like a girl, or your daughter starts behaving like a boy, be brave to deal with the matter lovingly. This is why it’s so important to teach children Biblical precepts early on, so they understand that the fear of God is never similar to following the patterns of this world (Romans 12:1-2).

I wish you and your family God’s best!

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

God didn't create a third gender or the gender-neutral concept of all sorts

by Al Sabado

[I have originally posted this message via Google+, and reposting it here.]

Al Sabado

Shared publicly  -  10:40 AM

Upon reading Deuteronomy 22 this morning I pondered about verse 5, which has probably been the center of futile and endless arguments to date. I personally do not think women aren’t permitted by God to wear pants or men to wear skirts. Because if that were so, then men wearing skirt during Abraham and Moses’s time were abominable people, as the verse points out. But what I do understand is the distorted intent beneath wearing such wardrobe.

You probably wondered why a seemingly masculine fellow passenger, who rode a public vehicle with you, looked somewhat peculiar, donned in polo shirt tucked in pants. I did. In fact, without staring at the person, I could determine right away that the person wasn’t at all a man, but a woman assuming to be a man. Now that isn’t normal, based on the Biblical perspective of what a man or a woman looks like.

Through the passing of time we’ve seen how fashion trends have changed and yet we can—without a doubt—easily distinguish the feminine fashion from the masculine.

The intention is clear. A man’s intention dressing up to assume the appearance of a woman, or a woman’s intention dressing down to assume the appearance of a man—contrary to God's design of natural gender—is what I believe as the abominable, as mentioned in Deuteronomy 22:5.

So if you truly fear God, who created man and woman, you’ll understand that He didn’t create a third gender or the gender-neutral concept of all sorts. But if you continue defying the God-designed concept of God’s TRUE creation, then that’s your choice. You probably gained the courage to “come out in the open” because of the deceiving and perverse  approval of the majority and the popular.

I need not threaten you because God in His Word—the Holy Bible—is sovereign. Know, therefore, that the ill choices we make on the subject matter do have detrimental consequences. If you don’t believe—in fear—God’s Word, as it is written in the Holy Bible, then I cannot undo your unbelief for you. But I pray you’d wake up—before it’s too late! Repent!

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. (Romans 1:26-32)

DEUTERONOMY CHAPTER 22

kingjamesbibleonline.org

The book of Deuteronomy chapter 22 from the King James Bible Online

Refuse to marry just any believer

by Al Sabado


[I have originally posted this message via Google+, and reposting it here.]

Al Sabado
Shared publicly  -  Sep 14, 2015

At a time I was still attending church I was tasked to handle a Bible study group for adult women. (Oh dear, of all people, why me…) My preparation for the study was crucial, because the occasion was also an evening bridal shower for the group’s lady member—a believer who’s about to marry an unbeliever.

I don’t sugarcoat or mince words when I speak, especially to people I so deeply care about. So you may have guessed the Bible verse that’s vividly etched in my head. That verse was among my first lessons in my walk with God as a young believer in 1991, and I pass it on to every believer crossing similar path of considering to marry an unbeliever. With that burden in my heart, I prayed for the evening. My hands were cold. My heart thumped as I finally read aloud in the room the verse we all could have avoided and ignored, but one the bride-to-be had to hear, probably the last time:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Hearing that verse, however, didn’t change the woman’s decision; she proceeded with her wedding. I regret that’s her choice...

As for you, my dear fellow believer, take your time. I pray you won’t settle for anything less, but God’s best, which can mean not marrying at all. Ready for that? By God’s grace, yes. But if you consider marrying someone, refuse to marry just any believer. Choose the one who, like King David, is after God’s own heart. A strong believer who stands by God’s Word no matter what, someone who’s able to discern that which is Biblical from that which is not. And listen also to what your parents and people closest to you will have to say. Oftentimes, they see issues you may be unaware of.

Disclaimer: I link to the article below as I share the author’s views (except for churchgoing, as many churches of this day lead the flock astray) on the subject matter, but I do not necessarily endorse the author or his church. Magandang araw (Good day)! :)

10 MEN CHRISTIAN WOMEN SHOULD NOT MARRY

nycpastor.com

Musings while brewing coffee: Which type of believer are you?

by Al Sabado

This morning I pondered about the different types of believers I encountered in nearly 25 years. Not that I’ve reached heights or been better in my faith compared with others; but I—and perhaps you too—notice believers don’t come out the same, as in, of the same feather. Some appear nice, initially, until unfavorable circumstances cross their paths and their true colors splatter along the walkway. Some have remained sincere believers through the years, regardless of their circumstances. Following is just a short list of terms, with which I mentally categorized believers, as I brewed coffee this morning.

The “Sincerely Anonymous.” I’ve read a few blogs of fellow believers regarding their views on false teachers, false/emergent churches, special holidays, verses from the books of Genesis to Revelation. And I thought their views are “Wow, outstandingly interesting!” But when I started touring their website to discover more about who they are, I found they’re nameless authors of what they wrote. Their blogs have no photo of them, but of creatures under the sun. No name, not even a nickname. Nothing. Their blogs are simply signed with the invisible “Sincerely, Anonymous.” Come on, brethren. Who are you? Aren’t you supposed to be brave people for the sole reason that the Lord Jesus is your confidence—and mine too? Fellow believers read your blogs, exposing the truth we hardly find in church structures these days, especially if we don’t go there anymore. And if it’s God’s truth you profess, isn’t it similarly truthful if you’d introduce yourself even briefly? By the way, if it would matter saying this, I'll say it: please don't delete your blog account. I've seen three blogs of fellow believers shut down already (whatever reason they have, I don't know). We won't please everyone, nobody can. But we're here to speak up for God's truth, not to please men.

In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)

The “Dual Citizen.” This type of believers is a bit hard to comprehend: evidently a believer outside, but somewhat something else inside. Regardless if they’ve been in the faith for years or decades, some believers seem to operate with duality. Have you met any of this type?

Let me cite a few real-life examples: Believer A is a church worker, probably a busy one, because other than his work at church and in the office, he’s also a candidate for completing a PhD degree from a reputable university. Now here’s the catch: he’s hiring professionals to ghostwrite his PhD dissertation. Read that again. Hiring professionals to write one’s academic paper is a way of the world. Such practice is dishonest. If you’ve played this type of believer, then please know brethren that hiring ghostwriters to accomplish academic writing for you is a first-class, high-end form of cheating. What do you need a degree for if you can’t even pass the distinction of being honest—with or without a university degree?

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; (1 Timothy 2:1-3)

Here’s another example: Believer B has been in the faith for like decades, but her ways haven’t changed. She’s still easily angered, slams the door or whatever she finds when upset, raises her voice when furious, curses when agitated. In short, she’s temperamental . . . still. But here’s another scoop: she’s friendly with friends, charitable for noble causes, goes out of her way to express concern for “other” people. At one time she donated a huge amount of money for a cause without questions asked; however, she seemed blind when it comes to providing for the basic needs of her “own” household. Are you this type of believer? Remember God’s Word says

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8)

The “Acting Chief of Finance.” Some believers are all-out generous making donations to innumerable causes. But come tax day, they seem to portray the acting chief of finance while prodding their accountants to sort of miscalculate their income tax reports, so they pay either a small amount of tax or none at all. They’re quite inhibited when it comes to shelling out cash from their wallet, for matters they ought to consider “their” social obligation. If that’s their attitude about their finances, then would it still be surprising they left church for no other reason but to avoid tithing? (Giving 10 percent, or tithing, is obsolete, by the way—unless you still don’t know, do your homework. You may begin reading this book online, Tithing: Low-Realm, Obsolete & Defunct.)

But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. (Deuteronomy 8:18)

The “Authorized Personnel Only.” This term comes to mind as I remember believers who seem to be focused about discussing matters of the Holy Bible—nothing more. They dwell tremendously on studying God’s Word and they enthusiastically discuss their findings with fellow believers. Apparently, that’s all they want to discuss; they suddenly shift to “silent mode” when a brethren opens up to them common life issues and requests for prayer. Have you been this way to other believers? Careful. What you learn from studying God’s Word may be lacking teeth, spine, and bone when the way you respond to another person, particularly a fellow believer, is no different from the sight of unresponsive, melting blocks of ice floating on top of your cold beverage.

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: (1 Peter 3:8)

The “Nonshowbiz Lover.” I call this category as such because it reminds me of believers who may be unpopular, yet they’re grounded in the faith, sincere toward other people, and quietly confident in the Lord Jesus. They’re hardly seen in social circles, not even in church structures filled with congregants on midweeks and weekends. They’re not anonymous, but they bravely stand up for what is Biblical and stay away effortlessly from what is not. They discern the things of God and the things that are ungodly. They’re unafraid to leave churches or groups when such institutions compromise fearlessly the truth we find in God’s unchanging Word. They’re not easily swayed by trends leading the crowd; God’s Word is their ultimate guide when conducting their day-to-day concerns. These believers no longer find pleasure in listening to secular music, not even contemporary Christian music, and they perfectly know why they shouldn’t listen to such materials anymore. These believers don’t observe pagan occasions, such as Christmas, birthdays, and other times, constantly celebrated and considered “special” by the world. Their contentment and gratitude toward God's blessings that come their way daily bring them unparalleled joys in life. These believers are no church attendees; they stay in their homes on Sundays reading, studying, and listening to God’s Word, the Holy Bible.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:21, 23-24)

But what’s a believer? Believers, particularly the last type I discussed, don’t necessarily call themselves “Christian” to say they are. They don’t even have to go to a physical church to be one. But as believers, they recognize they're sinners who've repented, saved by grace, and whose faith is in Jesus Christ, who alone is their Source of strength, Enabler in accomplishing tasks too great for them, and Savior—not their works or the people surrounding them. 

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

These believers hardly read devotionals written by popular Christian authors. What believers read every day is the Holy Bible, the unchanging Word of God—first thing in the morning, last thing in the evening. If you’d ask a believer where he’d go when he dies, the usual prompt reply is, “I’ll go to heaven.” And if you’d ask him why he thought so, by faith he’d say, “Because God, in His Word, says so.”

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

If I may ask, are you a believer?

Care for a slice of butter cake with apples and almonds? I wish you and your loved ones a restful weekend!

Un-celebrating birthdays, a liberating experience

by Al Sabado


Just because I don't greet people "Happy birthday" (along with "Merry Christmas," "Happy New Year," "Happy Valentine's," "Happy Mother's Day," "Happy Father's Day," "Happy Anniversary," etc.) doesn't mean I don't care. I don't even celebrate mine. :) Why? It began the time I realized the practice (along with the others I mentioned) came from pagan roots, not from the example of the Lord Jesus. Only two instances in the Bible refer to birthday celebration and both pertain to death, not birth. God's Word says,

But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage? Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain. (Galatians 4:9-11)

So today I asked, "Who in the Bible celebrated birthdays?" The apostles? There seems to be no account of that. Moses? Nah. Abraham? Neither. The Lord Jesus? Negative.

We can find Bible references to birthday celebration in two instances: one in the Old Testament and one in the New Testament. The first instance occurred during the time of Joseph, when Pharaoh made a feast on his birthday, an occasion where he ordered the hanging of his chief baker (Genesis 40:20-22, Old Testament). The second instance occurred during the time of King Herod, the man who, on his birthday celebration, ordered the beheading of John the Baptist, the prophet who was to prepare the way of the Lord Jesus (Luke 3:4, New Testament).

Notice such celebrations were occasions for death, not life--quite the contrary to the time when the Lord Jesus was born.

Different sources online tell us that celebrating birthdays isn't wrong. Fine. But--let's answer a not-so-uncommon question, "Why celebrate birthdays?"

"To celebrate our birth?"

OK. But not sold on that idea.

"Uh ... to give thanks to God for giving us life?"

Mmm ... doesn't that sound like the first answer?

Next question, how would you feel if your loved ones forget or fail to greet you on your birthday?

"Damn, I'd feel really bad."

Really? And why is that so?

"Gee, that's MY special day!"

There you go. It's YOUR special day.

So let's go back to the first question, paraphrased this time: "Why do you celebrate your birthday?"

Answer, "It's MY special day."

You see, the me-my-mine mode of this world inflicts certain misery on an individual who, when forgotten, neglected, or not given due entitlement, feels terribly hurt. And that's the kind of hurt that is by nature self-inflicted. As a believer, that isn't something Christlike, don't you think?

Celebrating birthdays is the orientation of the feel-good world that tells you and me to "Love thy self."

For the believers, who may be among those still struggling to survive a discouraging world (whether or not we admit it), it's high time to get past that mode, to diminish instances that focus on self, to eradicate factors that unnecessarily hurt or offend self, to be strong for the times God calls us to do something--whatever that is.

Are you with me?

Strengthening one's character is also about thinking less of self. If you're thinking how that could be possible, un-celebrating birthdays is a way to do that. You become less offended, less sensitive (not easily hurt--uh, yeah, synonymous to the previous one), more inclined to be thoughtful of others (probably not yet but getting there)--throughout the year!

Not to be degenerate or sort of masochist here (just unorthodox), but un-celebrating birthdays is a tried and tested method that makes one stronger--not the type (quietly or loudly) seeking the favor of men, but God. And indeed as believers, may we be unlike them who "loved the praise of men more than the praise of God" (John 12:43).

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

The author (right) with her sister Grace, kayaking 
in the hidden lagoon of Coron, Palawan.

See related readings on birthday celebration via Google search.



Updated: 25 September 2015

God teaches us in His Word NOT to pray as the hypocrites do

by Al Sabado

This morning, I came across a photo of the Pope as front cover of one of the leading newspapers in the country. Quoted on photo are the following words: "POPE IN DEEP PRAYER (AFP) - Pope Francis lay prostrate on the floor of St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican as he prays in front of the altar during a Good Friday service in this handout picture released by the Vatican press office on March 29, 2013."

But what does the God of the Bible teach us about prayer? Let's read from Matthew 6:5-8.

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. 

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. [emphases mine]

The Catholic church misleads its followers as it continues to uphold its teachings and the Pope above God's Word.

God's Word says that "[whoso] causeth the righteous to go astray in an evil way, he shall fall himself into his own pit: . . ." (Proverbs 28:10). There is no other way but through God's only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, who firmly speaks of Himself: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (John 14:6).

Is Hebrews 10:25 a command?

by Al Sabado

[I have truncated my initial writing here because I realized that the gerund is the assembling, not the forsaking. (Editing myself . . .)]

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a woman who shared the dilemma that she and her husband endure concerning their current church. They wonder whether they should leave their church because mysticism has been evident in its preaching and Bible studies. The woman has also noted that "Christians adhere more to mysticism without them knowing and [church] leaders seem to be okay with it." I was delighted with the woman's discovery. She was able to discern the deception lurking in their church. But then, after realizing the compromises of her church, her closing statement in the form of a question is just saddening: "But what about the mandate to us in Hebrews 10:25?" Her question tells me that she's not ready to leave an erring church because of Hebrews 10:25.

But think about it, if the church we're attending is in error, do you think God would be pleased if we choose to stay there?

I disagree--now that I have seen the deception flowing in today's churches--that Hebrews 10:25 commands us to stay in compromising churches. I can only agree with an article stating that this verse is not a command and that it's not even a sentence. Besides, believers can gather anywhere and at any time to realize the fullness of Hebrews 10, that is, from verses 22 to 25.

But God's Word is never lacking when it comes to warning and commanding us to flee from the works of the evil one. God's Word commands us to "abstain from all appearance of evil" (1 Th. 5:22)

I continued my response to the woman's email:

. . . What's long been misunderstood here--as I also thought Hebrews 10:25 as a command (of course, having trusted pastors, how could I not read it that way)--is that this verse is not even a sentence because it's a *continuation* of the previous verses (and perhaps, even chapters):

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. (Hebrews 10:22-25, emphasis mine) 

Reading these verses gives us the context, which is quite different from what we're taught in the churches of this day. These verses do not necessarily refer to a Sunday thing in particular but to a lifelong position of believers in the Lord Jesus Christ--anywhere, any day of the week.

You may read more on this passage from this link (not endorsing it, but sharing it for information only). 

Be of good courage then, dear sister with your husband. The Lord Jesus Christ is never weak to lead and bring us out of darkness! :)

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. (Ephesians 5:6-13, emphases mine)

&&& 

But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:23-24)

In Christ's ever powerful
and unfailing love,
Al

I did not hear from the woman again. Whether she disagrees with me and chooses to stay in her church--that is going to be "her" decision.

Unlearning Calvinism after 22 years . . . and other things that go with it

by Al Sabado

For quite some time, I was among the avid audience of Watchman Video Broadcast by Mike Hoggard. I was also a regular listener of Radio Free Church and its radio affiliate, KRSS. And perhaps, as I found them very compelling, I opted to type "Calvary Chapel" and "Mike Hoggard" on Google search just to find out if I needed to know something I didn’t know about them. Indeed, I didn’t know them enough. I may not be too articulate to explain the alarming things I discovered about them, but you may research about them online.

Along such discovery is the realization that I’d believed something I shouldn’t—Calvinism. I do not claim to understand it much, but what I know is that the churches I had been to uphold such doctrine, particularly "lordship salvation." (I now think that it's appropriate to write that pair in lowercase.) And after 22 years under its clout, I’ve decided to unlearn it as well. It’s taking some time for me to even understand it, much so to unlearn its misleading ways. I thank God for the brethren online who speak against such doctrine and uphold above all what God says in His Word in the Holy Bible.

While I've been understanding God's "free grace" anew, I also review my head knowledge about my faith. So I guess, the question to ask now is not "Have you made Jesus Christ your personal Lord and Savior?" but simply the question, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"

Following are Califgracer's YouTube videos: Louie Lordship and Freddie Free Grace on Lordship and Louie Lordship and Freddie Free Grace on Salvation. I still watch these videos a number of times . . .

Louie Lordship and Freddie Free Grace on Lordship

8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

-- 

Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent. (John 6:29)

-- 

And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. (Acts 16:31)

Louie Lordship and Freddie Free Grace on Salvation

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

-- 

Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. (James 2:19)

-- 

1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:
6 After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep.
7 After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles.
8 And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.8 And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time. (1 Corinthians 15:1-8)

Related posts:

• Yes, I've stopped tithing and attending a physical church
• Among the emergent churches in the Philippines and the reasons I left them (Revised Edition)
• Response to a friend who has stayed in an emergent church: "But God says in His Word. . ."
• Why believers should not attend church

Response to a friend who has stayed in an emergent church: "But God says in His Word. . ."

by Al Sabado


Very few of us will agree that this is no longer new: responding to former church mates and friends who tell us to attend a local church. I've mentioned before that I've nothing against attending a local church, unless of course, if that church chooses the path that leads its members to compromise their faith, then its messenger is accursed (Galatians 1:9).

So how do we respond to people's anxiety about our not attending a local church and their other concerns?

Honestly, we have no control over people's anxiety and concern. Some are probably inclined to think we're losing or neglecting our faith, now that we're not attending a local church. What I was more concerned about was how to tell the people about the false church we used to attend "together." I was distraught when people I cared so much about wouldn't take heed of the warning that the church we both attended have finally become false, emergent churches. Warning them was like talking to the wind that wouldn't obey the Word of God. Yes, they've made such poor choice to stay there, and that was just heartbreaking. But God's Word brought me back my strength upon reading John 21:22.

Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me. (John 21:22)

Accepting the indifference of people is also a process, and I've just gone through that like going into battle. But indeed, the battle is not ours but God's (2 Chronicles 20:15). This is nothing new indeed, for God has already told us in His Word:

12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. 14 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; 15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. 16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. (2 Timothy 3:12-17, emphases mine)

I can't help but notice that those who stay in emergent churches can give excuses for staying there--sans the Word of God. They say, "I'm staying for the sake of other people who don't know these things." Or they say, they heard God told them "No" when they asked God if they should leave these [emergent] churches. Their mission now for staying there is to intercede or pray for the emergent church. But we shouldn't do that, lest we too be deceived while being a part of it. Besides, we can pray while we're "out" of such congregation.

Worse, they say that they will only leave such church when it no longer mentions "Jesus." Well of course, such church will keep mentioning "Jesus." The Catholic Church does that, doesn't it? But see how its teachings and practices heavily contradict and malign God's Word.

Those who stay in emergent churches cannot even give a Scripture that supports their decision to stay. They will talk about "love" and "forgiveness," sure. But we know that God's sovereignty isn't limited by these two factors that the emergents propagate to win people. (An example of this is "Love Wins," a book authored by emergent leader Rob Bell.) And we also know that love without the Truth is a lie.

Brethren, be careful not to fall into such trap. God's Word is our guide in making decisions--not our thoughts, not our feelings, not the influence of people around us. What God says in His Word, that we shall do:

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7, emphases mine)

Following is my response (with the subject line, "But God says in His Word . . .") to a friend who has chosen to stay in the once-Biblical-turned-emergent church we both attended. English translations follow parts written in Tagalog: 

. . . [Hindi] ako nasaktan sa sulat mo. Hindi na bago sa akin ang usapang ito. Isa ka sa mga taong nagsabi sa akin . . . kung bakit ka hindi umalis sa church mo ngayon. (. . . Your letter does not offend me. This conversation is no longer new. You’re among the people who told me such reasons for staying in your church.)

Totoo, walang perfect church . . . Pero tinagubilinan tayo ng Panginoon sa Kanyang Salita na humiwalay tayo at huwag makiisa sa mga maling gawi ng tao. Hindi natin sila kinukundina, ngunit hindi tayo nakikiisa sa kanila. (True, there is no perfect church. But God commands us to separate ourselves and not to be one with the erring deeds of men.) God is firm in His Word. He doesn't only talk about loving and forgiving people. He commands us to stand firm, but not in a way that compromises our faith. We do this by holding on to His Word:

11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. (Ephesians 5:11-13, emphasis mine)

Sabi pa ng Panginoon (God has also said):

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. (2 Corinthians 6:17, emphases mine)

Because . . . we're commanded to contend for the faith, and not to compromise by taking part in what we know is in "error."

Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints. (Jude, verse 3, emphasis mine)

I echo in the book what the apostles have also said in the Bible:

We ought to obey God rather than men. (Acts 5:29)

Kung tungkol sa pagpapatawad at pagmamahal, hindi sukatan niyan ang manatiling makipanayam sa mga taong iba sa atin. Sabi sa Bible (With regard to forgiveness and love, that’s not measured by keeping in touch with people who are not among us. The Bible says):

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:1-7, emphases mine)

Hindi na nakapagtataka kung bakit ganito ang nakikita natin sa churches ngayon. (It is no longer surprising why we find these traits in the churches.)

Pagdating naman sa hindi pagdalo sa church, ito ang aking pinanghahawakan (When it comes to not attending a church, I hold on to these Scriptures):

23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. 24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:23-24)

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. (Proverbs 30:5)

But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29)

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

. . . [The] Lord Jesus is never weak. There is no perfect church, true. I love to fellowship with the brethren, which I do from time to time. But God warns us of compromising churches that are certainly not His. For this reason, God is most able to nourish His own flock in the purity and power of His Word--not in a "pigpen" or in any place that serves spoils.

You take care . . .

Rick Warren and Saddleback Celebrate Halloween

Link: Rick Warren and Saddleback Celebrate Halloween

How the global spirituality endangers not only the adults, but also the children

Link: How the global spirituality endangers not only the adults, but also the children